Confessions
by xXBalorBabeXx
Summary: She had only intended to go and tell him what she didn't get the chance to before... Amanda had thought that secrets confided into spirits stayed with them.


_**11/5/06, Mercy Health West ER…**_

 _The curtain was opened quickly and Roddy looked up, the legend looking at the young girl across from him._

" _It's cancer…" Roddy said quietly._

 _Amanda covered her mouth to try to suppress a sob but Roddy could see it, her heart was breaking. Standing up, Roddy pulled Amanda into his arms and the two embraced each other tightly._

" _Hey…" Roddy said, cupping Amanda's face in his hands. "They caught it in time. I'm gonna beat this, come back stronger… that's a promise because I'm gonna be there to see you flourish in your career, live out your dreams. Ain't nothing taking me away, Mandy Rose." He whispered._

" _I'm gonna hold you to that, Roderick… I don't ever want to lose you." Amanda managed to say through her tears as they hugged again._

" _And you are way too young to be talking all serious… after I beat this, we're gonna go act like kids, do stupid things. We only live once." Roddy said after they let go._

 _Amanda nodded and let out a slight groan as she rubbed her sore ribs, Roddy helping her sit down._

" _Lita really hurt me… we were all just supposed to keep order out there during her match with Mickie and that's what we did." Amanda explained._

" _I guess she still thinks that you sided with Matt instead of removing yourself from what had happened… did you ever tell her that?" Roddy said, asking the last part._

" _In the immediate aftermath… she said I was too young to understand but I know what a broken heart does to someone, doesn't matter how it breaks. I never once thought she would cheat on Matt or that Adam would fuck around behind Lisa's back, it never once crossed my mind. And that's what gets to me, they both selfishly broke their respective partners hearts! At the same time, Matt and Lisa could've acted like adults as well and kept it out of the public eye!" Amanda responded._

" _Sounds like no one bothered to listen to what lessons you took away from all of this, Mandy." Roddy said._

" _What did they expect me to learn from their actions?" Amanda replied._

" _I don't know, kiddo… I wish I did." Roddy said before they left…_

 **Present time…**

"So… beautiful out here. I can see why you loved it." Amanda said quietly as she was on her knees in front of a wooden cross in the ground.

Engraved in it was _Roderick George Toombs, April 17th 1954 – July 31st 2015_ … Amanda felt like time stood still when she stopped by Roddy's house in Oregon.

"I remember what you used to say at times… just when you think you have all the answers, I change the questions. I don't have any answers that'll satisfy him or anyone." Amanda said quietly, taking a deep breath. "I feel like I screwed up… I wasn't trying to hurt anyone or piss them off. Loneliness can really… take a toll, distance can hurt… I changed, I didn't think me getting close to Finn would rattle Seth like it did. I'm sorry I never told you… what was upsetting me, I thought I could fix it…"

Amanda lowered her head and let the tears fall into the snow… and then she felt a hand on her shoulder, looked up and her eyes widened in shock before she looked from the spirit by her side to the cross in the ground.

"You're not imagining things, kiddo. And you didn't hurt anyone… you were searching for something you hadn't had in a long time. I can't remember the last time I saw you smile… but Finn, he makes you happy. You don't have to choose between anyone." Roddy said.

"If I could choose anything… it would be for you to still be here. I never thought I'd lose you. We made that promise… I held you to it until it was snatched away. You should still be here, this isn't fair to anyone and you damn well know it's not!" Amanda responded, brushing her tears away… and realising it from the smirk he had. "I feel better… letting that out." She said.

"And you needed to… you also need to get your skinny butt back indoors before you freeze out here, Mandy." Roddy responded.

"Forgot how cold it gets here…" Amanda replied as she started to stand up… but she didn't know what was under her.

Amanda slipped on a patch of black ice and fell, bashing her head against the dirt, which rendered her unconscious.

"Damn it!" Roddy muttered before he saw Ariel in her dove form. "Kidsie, stay here with her!" He said before heading towards the house, Ariel turning to her human form and crouching next to Amanda, resting a tiny hand on her head.

Amanda's vision was blurred when she opened her eyes halfway, Ariel seeing blood trailing from the left side of Amanda's face, under her eye.

"Roddy…" Amanda whispered, looking around for him.

"It's okay… I'm here for him." Ariel responded before placing her left hand on Amanda's forehead and the right over her heart before starting to whisper rapidly.

At the same time, Finn was outside of the house with a flashlight looking for Amanda… and jumped back in fright when he saw Roddy.

"How the…" Finn started to ask before realising it. "Where is she, what happened?!" He asked.

"Over by the wooden cross, she slipped and fell." Roddy answered before they headed off into the backyard as the snow started getting heavier.

It was thick too and the fog started setting back in… but then the flashlight reflected off of her chestnut brown hair and Finn crouched down, putting his leather jacket over Amanda.

"I… I didn't… it was still daylight when I left the house, right?" Amanda asked, having trouble remembering as Finn noticed Ariel.

"It was… I… I healed you in a sense but those memories might be a bit of an issue… and your left hand." Ariel responded, Amanda now twitching her fingers and realising that her left hand was numb to the point where it felt almost like it was no longer attached to her.

Amanda felt her eyes becoming heavy, Finn lightly cradling her face in his hand and Amanda screaming as the warmth was a sudden shock to her cold skin.

"No… not this time, not any! I am not losing you!" Finn whispered, pulling Amanda to where she could sit up and wrapping his arms around her as he held her against him before dialing 911.

Amanda slowly stopped shivering, Finn lightly stroking her hair as Ariel looked at Roddy after wrapping her left hand around his right one.

"She's gonna be okay… right?" Roddy asked.

"She'll be alright… like a computer, I sort of… diverted power to her healing, so to speak. That's what caused the numbness and slight memory fault, she'll be more or less okay by the morning." Ariel answered.

In the nearest ER, Amanda looked around when she was fully conscious, looking for Ariel… until she and Finn saw Ariel interacting with a child.

"The younger ones… they see them a lot better than we do at times." Amanda said, her left ankle in a brace as it was badly sprained and the wound on her face bandaged. "I don't really… understand how we can still see them at times. I tried explaining it to Ace… she seemed a bit freaked out about it." She said quietly as Finn was still holding her right hand in his own and had his left arm around her shoulders as Aestrid ran in and hugged Amanda… before turning and hitting Finn.

"Ow! Ace, what the hell?!" Finn responded, rubbing his right shoulder.

"Why didn't you go out there with her?!" Aestrid asked, worried more than angry.

"I asked him not to… what I had to say, it had to be kept with Roddy." Amanda answered, Aestrid realising it.

"You told him what you didn't take the chance to when he was alive…" Aestrid said before turning back to Finn. "Sorry for hitting you." She responded.

"It's alright. Mandy, you look tired…" Finn said.

"I just want to get on outta here…" Amanda replied.

And neither of them blamed her one bit.


End file.
